Harlan is a sex god!

[Heather]

Harlan is so sexy!
The fine peeps here at fugly offered to sell him to me for a rediculously low price.
I am seriously considering purchasing this
charming hunk of a man.
I would love to have my own personal sex god to worship!
He would be well fed and never want for anything....except maybe a break from constant adoration and sex.

[Heather]

I'm gonna go to the tanning parlour now.
I want to look good for my harlan.
He deserves the best.

[Heather]

Damn. All I seem to have acheived thus far is a sunburn.....I'm working on it.....
Curse this lily white skin of mine!
I've got loads more freckles....
Does that count?