Poetry contest

[ucicare]

I suggest that everyone submit their best original poem using the "Roses are Red" theme. OK, I'll go first.


ROSES ARE RED.
VIOLETS ARE BLUE.
I WANT TO HUG YOU,
AND GIVE YOU THE FLU.


Or this one -

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
SMURF IS AN EMO BOY
AND YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.




Barry

[DrBungle]

Roses are Red.
Violets are blue
YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE!

[ucicare]

Roses are Red.
Violets are blue
YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE!

Man, now that is poetry.


Roses ar red
Violets are blue
I want to pour
Bleach into you.

Roses are Red
Violets are Not
I hope you drown
in a bucket of (I can't think of anything that rhymes)

[one-spam-poster]

roses are sick
violets are blue
dwaine sux dick
for a dollar or two

[Schmed]

Someone is a bit obsessed with Dwaine.*
























*Disclaimer: This is not poetry, just a fact.

[DrBungle]

As a former editor of a college literary journal, bullshit Schmed. That was poetry.

[Joeslogic]

bucket of goo?

[ucicare]

roses are sick
violets are blue
dwaine sux dick
for a dollar or two


Double rhyme. Nice. Emotional. Concise.

That may be the first intelligent thing you have posted OSP.

Beginners luck?

[diogenes]

Can we do dirty limiriks?

[ucicare]

Can we do dirty limiriks?

Oh Please, lets!


Roses are red

Violets are fragrant

Your momma got pregnant

having sex with a vagrant. :shock:



Roses are red

Violets are flowers

Smurf dreams of children,

and giving Dwaine golden showers. :lol:

[diogenes]

That was awesome Barry.

[TheGrimJesus]

Roes are dead
Violets give me the flu
I caught diogenes having sex with a mule

[diogenes]

I can see you're still stupid. Fuck any race horses lately?

[DrBungle]

I think in the know-biz they call it "prepping" the horse.

[TheGrimJesus]

I can see you're still stupid. Fuck any race horses lately?

You are right nothing does change, you still ride my tip.

[Reizvolles]

Roses are dying
Violets are dead.
Lower your shorts
And I'll give you some head^

Roses are red
Lillies are white
Slip inside of me
I am oh so tight^

Roses are red
Seaweed is green
I'll lay on my back
And you can fill me with cream^

^ Not really

[Schmed]

Roses are dying
Violets are dead.
Lower your shorts
And I'll give you some head^

Roses are red
Lillies are white
Slip inside of me
I am oh so tight^

Roses are red
Seaweed is green
I'll lay on my back
And you can fill me with cream^

^ Not really

Oh c'mon! :evil:

[diogenes]

Grim, you should go back to whatever hole you crawled into while you were gone. Reiz, that almost gave me a heart attack. Don't tease me like that. Damnit. Doomed to the fate of Tantalus. The Gods have abandoned me, there is no hope.

[TheGrimJesus]

Grim, you should go back to whatever hole you crawled into while you were gone. Reiz, that almost gave me a heart attack. Don't tease me like that. Damnit. Doomed to the fate of Tantalus. The Gods have abandoned me, there is no hope.

I very much enjoy the hole I climbed into, more then 6 people to talk too. But I could not help but take a little stab at you. Also I think Rez was refering to you and Dans love life.

[diogenes]

Probably. You still living in that van behind the race-track calling yourself a director?

[ucicare]

Roses are red

Like Reizvoilles' udders,

What ruins my day?

They look like me mother's.



Somebody throw me a rope. I'm sinking in the mire.

[diogenes]

Rise above Barry. You can do it, I have faith in you.

[TheGrimJesus]

Probably. You still living in that van behind the race-track calling yourself a director?

and you pulled this out of your ass why? When did I start living in a van? you dumb sad fuck.

[diogenes]

Almost forgot, I'm not on your level.

[DrBungle]

Roses are dying
Violets are dead.
Lower your shorts
And I'll give you some head^

Roses are red
Lillies are white
Slip inside of me
I am oh so tight^

Roses are red
Seaweed is green
I'll lay on my back
And you can fill me with cream^

^ Not really

The cream goes on the boobies. Sheesh.

[Reizvolles]

Schmedly, no sex for you.

Grimey, don't drag me into your lover's tiff with dio.

Dio and Gimey, please get a room and pound eachother's asses until you are gratified.

Barry, that was fucking awesome.

Bungle, Harlan has more chance of seeing my boobies than you do.

[Lomotil]

Go to www.poetry.com and look up a 'poet' by the name of "Jack Lomotilian" - my only foray into the world of poetry.

They actually sent a copy of that poem (visible from the outside of the envelope) to my parent's P.O. Box, as that was the address I gave them (in case of insurmountable royalties, mind you)... :D

[ucicare]

Go to www.poetry.com and look up a 'poet' by the name of "Jack Lomotilian" - my only foray into the world of poetry.

They actually sent a copy of that poem (visible from the outside of the envelope) to my parent's P.O. Box, as that was the address I gave them (in case of insurmountable royalties, mind you)... :D



Almost brilliant Lomo. Almost.



Barry

[DrBungle]

Schmedly, no sex for you.

Grimey, don't drag me into your lover's tiff with dio.

Dio and Gimey, please get a room and pound eachother's asses until you are gratified.

Barry, that was fucking awesome.

Bungle, Harlan has more chance of seeing my boobies than you do.

Duely noted. But, to be fare, I never asked, or hinted at asking. I was just pointing out where the cream goes in general.

Get over yourself Reiz.

[Schmed]

Schmedly, no sex for you.

Oh c'mon! :evil:

[diogenes]

The fate of Tantulus awaits.

[DrBungle]

Tantalus.

[Ulfur Engil]

Go to www.poetry.com and look up a 'poet' by the name of "Jack Lomotilian" - my only foray into the world of poetry.

They actually sent a copy of that poem (visible from the outside of the envelope) to my parent's P.O. Box, as that was the address I gave them (in case of insurmountable royalties, mind you)... :D

It is a shame that M.G. Faoukah's poetry was deleted - that was also entertaining. ;)

[phatboy]

Okay here is my piss poor attempt at poetry.

Roses are red
Violets are blue,

I fucked Grims wife,

you know her as malibu.


OR

Violets are blue
and roses are pink,

I fucked your mom in her ass
and now my dick stinks.....


or


Roses are red,
Pansies smell sweet,
Grim likes to jack his dick
while he smokes smurfs meat

Okay, enough for now.....

[DrBungle]

OMG YOU MADE FUN OF GRIM THAT IS AWSOME HAHAHAA

[ucicare]

Okay here is my piss poor attempt at poetry.

Roses are red
Violets are blue,

I fucked Grims wife,

you know her as malibu.


OR

Violets are blue
and roses are pink,

I fucked your mom in her ass
and now my dick stinks.....


or


Roses are red,
Pansies smell sweet,
Grim likes to jack his dick
while he smokes smurfs meat

Okay, enough for now.....


Applauds the effort.....*


tries not to laugh

[diogenes]

*has absolutely no problem not laughing*

[ucicare]

Dead are the roses,
of urine they reek.
Lost for the season.
since Dwiane took a leak.

Schmed loves his veggies,
Cooked up in a wok.
and loves for his women
to smell like his socks. :shock:


Barry

[Lomotil]

Go to www.poetry.com and look up a 'poet' by the name of "Jack Lomotilian" - my only foray into the world of poetry.

They actually sent a copy of that poem (visible from the outside of the envelope) to my parent's P.O. Box, as that was the address I gave them (in case of insurmountable royalties, mind you)... :D

It is a shame that M.G. Faoukah's poetry was deleted - that was also entertaining. ;)

LOL - tell me you saved a copy... :lol:

[Ulfur Engil]

LOL - tell me you saved a copy... :lol:

I did....it's just that it is on my computer back in Philly. :?

[phatboy]

*has absolutely no problem not laughing*

Hey those were written after a bottle of Grey Goose. Plus I was sitting outside at the beach. I will attempt more sober. But it may take a while....

[DrBungle]

I will attempt more sober. But it may take a while....

I agree.

[diogenes]

Mmmmm. Grey Goose.

[phatboy]

How about this one...


Roses are red, your momma is loose,

I shouldnt write poetry, while drinking grey goose.

[diogenes]

Nice, the other two are forgiven.

[DangerousDan]

I am a poet so red that
my yard is full of trash and
christmas lights. I burn rubber tires
all day long and ride my ATV at all hours
of the night. My wife thinks
we live in heaven. I keep her preganant
and nursing as that is what she likes to do.
I work in the mines and shoot my guns
at night. The mayor insists I get the wreckage out
my yard but I am too busy tossing down beers
and burning tires. Maybe when I win 100,000
playing scratch off wil I try harder to be classy
so the hookers won't make fun of me.

[diogenes]

Wow Dan, I applaud the effort. Let me guess, you wrote your rough draft in Crayon.

[DangerousDan]

As a matter of fact I wrote it in sand in the shape of a big tit with an erect nipple.

[Lomotil]

That brought a tear to my eye... It was so... um, tearful.

But I really liked it.