JesusMuhammedLove

[XerxesX]

Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis
by Eric Schwartz

Keep your Jesus off my penis,
Keep your Bible off my balls,
Keep your prayers from out my ears
And your crosses off my walls!
You can keep the Virgin Mother,
And the resurrection too!
Keep your Jesus off my penis,
I’ll keep my penis offa you!

Well I’m freakin sick and tired
Of turning on the news
And seeing the religious right’s
Ungodly fight
To take our right to choose.
When to bear our children,
Who to love and how,
Education and protection
If we’re just practicing for now!
So W, look, obey a book
If that’s what works for you;
But I don’t tell you how to pray,
So don’t you tell me how to screw!

[chorus - Keep your Jesus off my penis…]

So you’re screaming bloody murder
About the Taliban regime
Subjugatin women,
And being too extreme;
And basing legislation
On some ancient holy book.
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here’s a mirror, have a look!
And as for the ten commandments,
They need one more at least:
“Thou shalt never cover up
The acts of pervert priests!”
Now how can they let that happen,
Unless they just abhor us?
Well, anyway, it adds
Another layer to the chorus!

[chorus - Keep your Jesus off my penis…]

So you’ll execute a person,
And protect a single cell;
But mercy-kill the terminally ill
And you’re going straight to hell!
Well, I don’t know much about
The word of God, Far be it from me,
But I can tell you what it ain’t:
HYPOCHRISTIANITY!
Now I am not anti-Christian,
Before you grab a rope.
There’s beauty in religion
And joy and love and hope,
And we’re all looking for the answers
To the collossal cosmic cause,
But who the fuck are you
To turn your views into my laws!?!

It’s just believers in the bible
That would have abortion banned.
Anti-choice agnostics,
I can count ‘em on one hand! [holds middle finger up]
And as for killin’ babies,
I have but one retort:
If someone raped your daughter,
George, you’d beg her to abort.
And if some young girl from your church
Shows up childless from some infection,
You taught her what a horrid sin it was
To use protection!

Well some day you’ll face the pearly gates,
And whatcha gonna say,
When that long-haired Jewish peacenick
Sends your ass the other way!?

Keep your Jesus off my penis,
Keep your Bible off my balls,
Keep your prayers from out my ears
And your crosses off my walls!
Look, I’ve had it up to here
With all the Biblophile disputes!!
So keep your Jesus off my penis,
At least that’s what I would do!
Keep your Jesus off my penis,
I’ll keep my penis offa you!

[Joeslogic]

And the Muhammed version?

[smurfslappa]

Halalala,
kill them all,
in the name of allah we shall whipe them all out,
don't preach to me white man,
you're leaders start wars for illegitimate reasons and then you don't give a damn because you still got beer and chips,
Halalala,

That's all I've translated so far. You know it just doesn't sound right when you go from one language to another.

[diogenes]

I thought this was going to be a gay religious pornography thread. Damn it.

[Joeslogic]

Is that what the SOB's were saying? Man now I'm pissed!

[ucicare]

Halalala,
kill them all,
in the name of allah we shall whipe them all out,
don't preach to me white man,
you're leaders start wars for illegitimate reasons and then you don't give a damn because you still got beer and chips,
Halalala,

That's all I've translated so far. You know it just doesn't sound right when you go from one language to another.

Smurf, you seem a little more sane these days.

New meds?


Barry

[chester grape]

During a parliamentary debate about legalising the abortion drug RU486 here in Oz, a Greens senator wore the following T-shirt (attacking the current Health Minister, Tony Abbott):

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/02/10/nettle_narrowweb__300x467,0.jpg

[XerxesX]

Idf it aint Arabic it sure is vampiric, but what about the foetus ?

Ha felmegyek Kolozsvבra
Egyenest a fellegvבrba
Ott lבtok sok urat lni
Akikkel fogok ott lakni

S rבm is nyomtak egy pבr יvet
Szabadulnיk de nem lehet
S irtam haza az anyבmnak
Kldjצn pבrnבt rablבnyבnak

S'el is jצtt az יdesanyבm
Sirva-riva borult reבm
Sirhatsz anyבm jaj szףval is
Egy lבnyod volt rab lett az is

By the time I get to Kolozsvבr
They'll be waiting in the station
Securitate officers with AK infatuation
Black Dacias in the car park like skeletons in the woodshed
All you get for Christmas is a bullet in the head
Vatra Romaneasca has a war made just for you
Magyar v Romanian and there's nothing left to do
But get down to the town square
It's not that far a drive
It's Saturday night in Kozsvבr town
And no one leaves alive

Hogyha meg talבlok halni
Ki fog engem elsiratni
Elsirat az יdesanyבm
Aki gondot viselt reבm

Don't stare at me you mascalzones
I recognise your faces
We ain't going out on our knees
We're going out like Szיkis
A public execution, the whole neighborhood can watch
I don't care, I'll buck ya down, it goes
Ne nיzz reבm ne ne ne
Mert nem vבgyok a fene
Nem akarlak megenni
Csak a szemed kivenni