Why is it...

[Lomotil]

...that when you're single, your sex life can be just bone fucking dry - until you start getting some ass -

and pussy starts falling out of the clear blue fucking sky?!?

I fucking swear. Women must have some kind of radar that tells them when a guy's just been laid. It calls to them, who knows, perhaps as a sort of competition? Maybe they see that someone's happy with what they're getting and they're just hell-bent to see if they can pull him away from his steady supply for a while...

It wouldn't be so bad if two of the girls didn't work with me... I still think I could get away with a quickie in one of the dressing rooms if the first one isn't working...

[Deebo57]

Yea that always fuckin happens you hook up with some girl,then all of a sudden its like your the leader of a harem..and you have this happening at your job? damn all i can tell you is good luck dawg.

[Psycho Bob]

it just IS.

[Lomotil]

Well, I've pretty much ruled "No. 1" as something I'll hit when I feel like it, or can't get #(s) 2, 3, 4, or 5... I'm not kidding, it's been raining pussy here, and I honestly can't comprehend nor complain.

Heh... get this - one of the chicks is a midget. (but hot as fuck, don't get me wrong)

The way I figure, I'll hit the redhead next, then either call up the midget or the bus driver next... maybe get to #5 eventually...

[Dr.Roboto]

MIDGET PORN !!!! seriously tho. take a pic lets see some of your precipitation.

[Deebo57]

you'd seriously consider fuckin a midget? Well at least she can stand on your shoes an you can still walk around while she gives you head....

[smiles]

image

[Lomotil]

The midget... Well, I've been informed (by an authority on such matters), that she technically isn't a midget by definition. She lacks the disproportionately sized appendages and the chubby fingers - she's anatomically proportionate for someone of her 'stature', just really fucking short. I'm talking mouth meets bellybutton. And yes, she is fucking hot - I don't care how tall she is.

More on her when I get to it... and yes, I do plan on taking pictures/video... ;)

[Deebo57]

looking forward to seeing this.....................

[Dr.Roboto]

so whats the details of this vertically challenged hottie?

[Deebo57]

I'm talking mouth meets bellybutton.

shes not like eight is she? either way Im sure brownguy would still warm up his wrist to the thought of this......

[ratatouille]

its not really happening. you are all pumped from getting some that you are imagining that other sluts want you. the sudden release of years of pent up sperms is finally being released regularly and is causing a blood surge to your brain. there may be a few who really do want the big beefy jerky stick that is Lomo, but your sex drive is so high that you can only see "hot biatches" and your sense of smell has been lowered so as not to detect their foul stench of Jovan Musk mixed with BO and meatloaf. my advice to you is do it while you can and scrub yourself down with Comet when you are finished. And for godssakes, stop questioning this miracle. you need all the practice you can get when you finally get to hump Barfy and her multiple personalities. :wink:

[Dwaine Scum]

hey I agree with lomo, ever scince I announced I was engaged, I have been a poon magnet... I have been labled "romantic" ect. even old ass girlfriends have called "out ofg the blue" wanting to know if we could do lunch.

I dunno lomo its wierd, its like females can smell it on you..

[Nauseous]

I agree with Rat.

VerY Eloquently put... made me pull a stitch laughing.

Lomo has moved on to greener pastures... like paradise city or something guns-n-roses-like where girls have straw hair and remind him of the warm places of his youth... he's a sweet child of someone, but not of mine.

[Lomotil]

The "#1" has turned out to be a witch... I swear she's put a spell on me. It's like I'm Jonathan Harker and she's only leaving me with enough blood to survive... It's been quite nice, though. Can't say that I can complain.

[DrBungle]

Not complaining is might christian of ya, bub

[ratatouille]

I agree with Rat.

VerY Eloquently put... made me pull a stitch laughing.

Lomo has moved on to greener pastures... like paradise city or something guns-n-roses-like where girls have straw hair and remind him of the warm places of his youth... he's a sweet child of someone, but not of mine.
oh jeez. here come the waterworks, thank you Barfy. and for clarification, can you please explain why you have stitches in your meat sleeve?

[Lomotil]

Maybe she met up with Sexual Chocolate?

[ratatouille]

isnt SC a homo? our token black guy and homosexual?

[ratatouille]

get on AIM with me Lomo! NOW! plze?

[Lomotil]

Waiting... new s/n, perhaps?

[DrBungle]

Hey Lomo, do you still have me on yer yahoo (raztheowl)?

[Lomotil]

Probably - I'm hardly ever online anymore, though.

[Nauseous]

oh jeez. here come the waterworks, thank you Barfy. and for clarification, can you please explain why you have stitches in your meat sleeve?[/quote]

I had to have a laparoscopy to have an ovarian cyst removed. It was painful... that fucker was big, but the aftermath of the laparoscopy was worse. CO2 dissolving in your body is painful.

[DrBungle]

Probably - I'm hardly ever online anymore, though.

Yeah, I kinda noticed that dude.

[Lomotil]

CO2 dissolving in your body is painful.

I'll take your word for that one...

Fuck

[Nauseous]

They bloat you up with that shit to drive a camera through your belly button.

http://www.seattleivf.com/imagesn/laparoscopy.jpg

When it dissolves, the CO2 irritates your diaphragm, thus causing severe pain in your shoulder, but I felt it the most in my clavicle with every movement or deep breath.

Having the cyst pulled out two holes in my pubis was no treat either.

[DrBungle]

My neighbor just had a cyst removed too. She said her shoulder hurt like hell afterword.

She went in because of the pain on a Friday and they were like, "Whoa, that's the biggest cyst we've ever seen! Please come back on Monday, when its more convienient for the surgeon. Here's some loretab."

Her husband found out and called and yelled and got her a shot of demerol(sp). I guess loretab didn't touch the pain...

hope ya heal up fast Puky

[Nauseous]

Yeah, they gave me Lortab too the first time. Then they have me Tylox. I had morphine too a couple of times, didn't help. Just made me constipated.

I'm doing almost as good as new now. I have some pain... my cuts are healing. I'm a tough old broad. Thanks though...

[Lomotil]

Just remember: Lots of wine and Klonopin while you heal... ;)

Hope ya feel better...

[Nauseous]

I haven't drank in a long time. Had a Klonopin the other night, just to help me sleep.

Spanks. :wink:

[Deebo57]

I haven't drank in a long time.

neither have I :shock: ..........time to get drunk.........

[Nauseous]

I did drink tonight. Not a great time, but I was bored.

[Deebo57]

yea I got drunk and saw "The running man" with Arnold shwazenegger...did I spell that right? If I did Im a badass..or is it Schwarzeneger? fuck it I think theyre both wrong...

[Nauseous]

I watched Gothika... dumb. Not an original idea behind that movie.

[DrBungle]

Speaking of drinking and movies, I'm going to go see Hero in a few hours with a buddy!

[Nauseous]

I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life, larger than life.

[Deebo57]

Speaking of drinking and movies, I'm going to go see Hero in a few hours with a buddy!

I was thinking of seeing that..was it any good?...im waiting for...fuck! whats the name of the movie coming out with Julian Moore?

[ratatouille]

I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life, larger than life.
Bonnie Tyler, Footloose Soundtrack. Used to rollerskate to that and, "Fame". :oops:

[Deebo57]

and now your ankles are too big to fit into skates...too bad.

[DrBungle]

I'M GONNA LIVE FO-EVAH!