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View Full Version : Lomo's CONSUMER REPORTS (or - a variation thereof)


Lomotil
08-02-2004, 02:37 AM
Here we have it, several products I've had the pleasure/displeasure of "trying out" - all summed up in a single thread, for your perusing pleasure.

Exhibit A:

http://home.earthlink.net/~lomotil/misc/Forums/gps.jpg

Magellan Sportrak Color

Portable handheld GPS unit, accurate to under 3 meters, calibrates itself with 11 satellites in geosynchronous orbit around the planet (it'll even show you where the satellites are, relative to your current positon). Honestly, I'm pretty fucking satisfied with this damn thing. It does everything but make coffee. It'll even tell you when the best time to fish or hunt is (for either your current position or any other destination you pick). Also, when I'm crawling to the bathroom after a long night of 211's, it's comforting to look at this contraption and instantly know just how fast I'm crawling (in MPH or KPH, depending on how you set it up).

Score (1-10): 10

Exhibit B:

http://home.earthlink.net/~lomotil/misc/Forums/hatamen.jpg

Hatamen brand cigarettes

Fresh (well, kinda) outta China, these cigarettes are ga-ron-tee'd to light a fire in your lungs... These were a gift from someone I used to consider a friend, but anyway...

I took the pack to a friend of mine that happens to read a little chink, and he deciphered the cryptic hieroglyphs on the wrapper...

Reading top to bottom, it says something along the lines of "Die Capitalist scum"

Score : 2

Exhibit C:

http://home.earthlink.net/~lomotil/misc/Forums/sausage.jpg

German sausage from a small shop that none of y'all will ever have the opportunity to visit, yet I thought it should earn a spot in my 'condemner reports' column. Fuck you, btw.

Pretty fucking good. Great with beer. 'nuff said.

Score: 9

Exhibit D:

http://home.earthlink.net/~lomotil/misc/Forums/radios.jpg

Clock Radios

Two here - starting from the bottom, a B/W TV/Radio alarm clock. Great concept, nice compact size, all the standard features. Nothing better than waking up on a Saturday morning to cartoons a foot away from your face.

Score: 8

Next, a Bose Wave Radio/CD - Again, nice package, a decent size, and compared to a standard alarm clock - this thing sounds like a live concert. You can stand in front of it and feel the wind from the bass. However, for as much as they advertise the shit outta this thing, I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed. I can't say that I'd ever *want* to listen to this radio anytime other than waking up in the afternoon, and furthermore, I can't think of a single audio device that I'd want to hook up to it's RCA input jacks on the back panel.

I will give it some credit, though - the CD player will play the dirtiest burned CDs you throw at it, even those that are scratched on the topside. Maybe this is why they put a set of AUX OUT RCA jacks on the back?

Score: 6

Stay tuned, folks... more drunken product reviews coming... Um, probably, or something... I dunno.

Nauseous
08-05-2004, 01:20 AM
Exibit A, uh... not impressed.

Exibit B, would be way cooler if the cigarettes read, "Menhata"

Exibit C, I had a dream not long ago that I shat some stuff that looked like that in the shower. I also shat some beef patties too.

Exibit D, I want to clean your house. Bose ARE the best speakers I have heard by far. I've actually got 5 of them in the living room and for something that fits in the palm of your hand, Jesus! They are amazing. They fuck with me all of the time. The sound is so realistic that anything you watch on tv sounds like it's taking place inside your living room. They are the shit and I'm not even a "speaker buff".

Nauseous
08-05-2004, 01:22 AM
Shit. I can't spell anymore.

hhhh

I knew I was leaving something out.

Deebo57
08-05-2004, 05:28 AM
I ve got an Altec Lansing set up thats pissing off my neighbors...shit it only cost 20 dollas and it JAMS so fuck everyone else!

Psycho Bob
08-05-2004, 08:37 AM
I ve got an Altec Lansing set up thats pissing off my neighbors...shit it only cost 20 dollas and it JAMS so fuck everyone else!

only until bed time tho, eh?

Deebo57
08-05-2004, 01:46 PM
yea exactly.. :roll:

Lomotil
08-09-2004, 11:50 PM
Exibit A, uh... not impressed.

It's an excuse to take a road trip, though...

Exibit B, would be way cooler if the cigarettes read, "Menhata"

This is true. I never even noticed that. :D

Exibit C, I had a dream not long ago that I shat some stuff that looked like that in the shower. I also shat some beef patties too.


You should really stop using your bathtub as a toilet.

Exibit D, I want to clean your house.

I've been listening to someone say that exact fucking thing for the past couple weeks...

Bose ARE the best speakers I have heard by far. I've actually got 5 of them in the living room and for something that fits in the palm of your hand, Jesus! They are amazing. They fuck with me all of the time. The sound is so realistic that anything you watch on tv sounds like it's taking place inside your living room. They are the shit and I'm not even a "speaker buff".

I'm sure this thing doesn't sound as good as your 5.1 setup, and of course it's a step down from what usually gets played...

http://home.earthlink.net/~lomotil/misc/booyah2.jpg

Nauseous
08-10-2004, 03:18 AM
Oh my... what big speakers you have. :evil:

Lomotil
08-10-2004, 12:35 PM
I have to compensate somehow, y'kno...