random joke

[GreenAppleSplatters]

What do you do if someone is having a seizure in a hot tub?
Throw in a load of laundry.

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by GratuitousAssSlapper:
What do you do if someone is having a seizure in a hot tub?
Throw in a load of laundry.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

depends on the kind of seizure

[unlimited-time]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana:
depends on the kind of seizure<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

images/smiles/icon_mad.gif

[Disorder]

what do you do if an retard throws a pin at you?

run like hell cos the asshole has a grenade in his mouth..

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by unlimited-time:
images/smiles/icon_mad.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

well it does!
there are diff kinds of seizures, you know...
grand mal is the one you're talking about images/smiles/icon_sad.gif

[GreenAppleSplatters]

Kitana,you could tahe the fun out of a blow-job.

[Disorder]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by GratuitousAssSlapper:
Kitana,you could tahe the fun out of a blow-job.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

tell us something we dont know, like kitana is a closet communist with a fetish for raw eggs and corn and can suck basketball through a straw...

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by GratuitousAssSlapper:
Kitana,you could tahe the fun out of a blow-job.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

what do u mean? how could i do that???

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Disorder:
like kitana is a closet communist with a fetish for raw eggs and corn and can suck basketball through a straw...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

eh??? closet communist? hell no!
i hate eggs, and dont care much for corn. I cant say that i cant suck a basketball through a straw b/c i have never tried it b4. images/smiles/icon_confused.gif

[unlimited-time]

images/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cheezedawg:
I'd like a blowjob Kitana....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

well, then, go find someone to give u one images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Cheezedawg]

I want one from you babycakes

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cheezedawg:
I want one from you babycakes<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

sorry, no can do...unless you shrink wrap your weenie with sterile, tasteless wrap that doesnt allow anything to pass in or out images/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[Cheezedawg]

I wouldn't blow my wad in your mouth sweety. I have more respect than that. But if you wanted me too.... I wouldn't complain.

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cheezedawg:
I wouldn't blow my wad in your mouth sweety. I have more respect than that. But if you wanted me too.... I wouldn't complain.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ewww, i want to puke

[unlimited-time]

images/smiles/icon_redface.gif

[Cheezedawg]

I'd like a blowjob Kitana....

[Psycho Bob]

So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".

[Lomotil]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana:
ewww, i want to puke<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So does his penis.

[Psycho Bob]

So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it Was Weggie Kray

[unlimited-time]

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the mud when they're pregnant. The farmer hangs up and gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemenation means that he has to impregnate the pigs himself. So he loads all the pigs into the truck and drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning, he wakes up and looks out at the pigs. Seeing they are still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them all in the truck again, drives them to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. Morning comes, he wakes up but cannot even raise himself up to look out the window at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud. "No", she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."

[Disorder]

a wealthy farmer had 3 sons. He was dying, so decided to test them to see which one could be trusted with his vast fortune..
he gave the first a shiny crisp new 50 and said 'go.. show me who you are..' the first son thought his pop was going slightly crazy and took the 50 and went out.
a short time later he came back. he was drunk as a tramp and staggered about the room until he collapsed into an easy chair and fell asleep..

he gave the second son a crisp new 50, and said 'go.. show me who you are..' the second son looked slightly puzzled at the old man and took the 50. an hour passed and in burst the second son with bright starring eyes and a sweating forehead.. 'i love yooooo dad' he said with a slur and collapsed at the old mans feet.

'damnit!' the farmer thought, 'my other sons bound to be exactly the same.. i need something else to give him' so the farmer gives his third son a duck and says.. 'go.. show me who you are..'
the third son looks perplexed and leaves.

a day later he comes back, a big wad of cash in his hand. 'JEEZUS!' cries the farmer. 'How the hell'd ya get that?'
'well pop' the third son explains.. 'i took your duck, but i didnt really know what to do with it.. then i was on my way, not paying any attention and i seemed to have wandered into the red light district, there all these sexy girls saying 'hows it going?' and 'would you like a piece off me' but i didnt know what to do. Then, i cam across one poorly looking asian girl, she said the duck would make an excellent meal for her 16 strong family and would like to take it from me for free sex!'
'DAMN!' exclaimed the farmer, 'then what happened?'

'well.. she really liked me i think, i dont know what it was, she said 'more sex i will return duck', and of course i said yes!
after that, i carried on my way but a truck barreled past and honked its massive horn at me.. i couldnt help it but the duck got startled and flew straight out of my hands and under the rear wheel of the truck.. it was flat!!'
the driver got out and said ' ohhh, i'm soo sorry about your pet, however can i repay you?' so i asked him for 50 bucks.
'thats wonderful' the farmer said.

yeah, i got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and 50 bucks for a fucked up duck

..sorry it took so long images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[unlimited-time]

http://www.humorbomb.com/pictures/40.jpg