bread

[Nursey]

THE HORRORS OF BREAD

A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone. When are we going to do something about bread-induced global warming? Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread? Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice ....



More than 98 percent of convicted criminals are bread eaters.
Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardised tests.
In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.
More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average Brit eats more bread than that in one month!
Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, actually begged for bread after only two days.
Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to harder items such as butter, jam, peanut butter and even bacon.
Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product. You could quite literally be eaten by bread.
Newborn babies can choke on bread.
Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:



No sale of bread to minors.
No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.
A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills associated with bread.
No animal or human images, nor any primary colours (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
Heavy penalties to be incurred by bread manufacturers who do not comply with these sensible measures.
Join me and let's put a stop to this madness.




http://webclipart.about.com/library/Other/fbrd3.gif (http://www.whatareweswallowing.com/)

[kitana]

ooh, mom baked pillsbury rolls this morning images/smiles/icon_sad.gif

[Dwaine Scum]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana:
ooh, mom baked pillsbury rolls this morning images/smiles/icon_sad.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

she ment everyone but you.. you see we dont care about your well-being

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by I Murder Children VIOLENTLY:
she ment <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

i care about your past education images/smiles/icon_sad.gif

[ratatouille]

your post mentions nothing of yeast infections. http://www.healthac.org/images/yeast2.jpg

[Nursey]

Well,i can put you in touch with someone who specialises in such matters...from her first hand experience!

click on this link,please:

http://www.stl-online.net/thc/med/vd/tcvd009.jpg (http://www.fugly.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=private_message&u=00001532)

[Nicodemus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
Well,i can put you in touch with someone who specialises in such matters...from her first hand experience!

click on this link,please:

http://www.stl-online.net/thc/med/vd/tcvd009.jpg (http://www.fugly.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=private_message&u=00001532)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah, after having to refer your mom to the clinic all those times I guess I could be considered somewhat of an expert in STDs.

[yomamazagreasymofo]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
Well,i can put you in touch with someone who specialises in such matters...from her first hand experience!

click on this link,please:

http://www.stl-online.net/thc/med/vd/tcvd009.jpg (http://www.fugly.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=private_message&u=00001532)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Nursey, have you ever gone into a sushi bar and eaten raw sea urchin? Note the similarities:

http://www.sushifoods.com/Iuni.jpg

(It was tasty, too. Wonder how herpes tastes when overloaded with wasabi...)

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
Well,i can put you in touch with someone who specialises in such matters...from her first hand experience!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

hahaha!

i dont "specialize" in that stuff from first hand experience, neither does mommy, i just like to learn about it and share the info images/smiles/icon_mad.gif

[Nursey]

Strange...i put a link to Unlimited Time's pm...and along comes Bland Ambition and Kitana to protest and make up excuses as to why they are or aren't such experts on the matter...i.e."err err no i'm not...yes i am...only cos"....i never thought you pair did know,but now i'm beginning to wonder if all you dykes have been rubbing your sticky 'sea urchins' against one another! images/smiles/icon_eek.gif

Thanks mofo!But i think i'd rather take the risks that go with eating the 'honourable fugu'('blow fish') than that thing there! images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[ratatouille]

Nursey, are you a nurse? Just wondering.

[unlimited-time]

Damn i missed this post..now i know why i keep getting all these strange PMs asking me how to cure STDs...i've told them to PM you Nursey, as you are a nurse and with you vaste experience of so many different STDs you are in a better position to help them than me.
How are the lumps anyway..did that cream clear them up?? images/smiles/icon_sad.gif

[Nursey]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ratatouille:
Nursey, are you a nurse? Just wondering.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I don't nurse...i Nursey images/smiles/icon_redface.gif

[Nursey]

I didn't say lumps-i made it clear it was just friction burns from Pimp's ever eager thrusting as i was drifting off to post drug abuse sleep that left me in need of some t-tree cream. images/smiles/icon_confused.gif

YOU,however,member number 1532 and 1598,had something far more -alarming (http://www.fugly.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=001621) to say when it came to the state of your pussy!!! images/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[Nursey]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ambitious Procrastinator:
Yeah, after having to refer your mom to the clinic all those times I guess I could be considered somewhat of an expert in STDs.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Just as well she knew exactly who to ask for advice on where to get help for her std! images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[unlimited-time]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
I didn't say lumps-i made it clear it was just friction burns from Pimp's ever eager thrusting as i was drifting off to post drug abuse sleep that left me in need of some t-tree cream. images/smiles/icon_confused.gif

YOU,however,member number 1532 and 1598,had something far more -alarming (http://www.fugly.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=001621) to say when it came to the state of your pussy!!! images/smiles/icon_eek.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It was alarming, nasty mess in the gusset but would like to say its fine now..all puss gone, no more itching and i can go out in public now without walking like a giraffe having a drink images/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[Nursey]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by unlimited-time:
It was alarming, nasty mess in the gusset but would like to say its fine now..all puss gone, no more itching and i can go out in public now without walking like a giraffe having a drink images/smiles/icon_eek.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

SO!!!You just had your whole puss ripped out!?! images/smiles/icon_confused.gif
That's a bit extreme!Must have been a pretty severe STD to warrant thatYou bull-dyjes are pretty fucking tough,i must admit! images/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[Nursey]

Another speed fuelled 40 page essay from Pimp on its way for this thread,judging by the way he's ignoring me on messenger...and it's too late for me to go out and have slutty fun with my friends on e. images/smiles/icon_mad.gif

[Nursey]

Yes-he is one of only a few people who can piss me off in the extreme

[unlimited-time]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
SO!!!You just had your whole puss ripped out!?! images/smiles/icon_confused.gif
That's a bit extreme!Must have been a pretty severe STD to warrant thatYou bull-dyjes are pretty fucking tough,i must admit! images/smiles/icon_eek.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Nah not the whole thing just some of the walls scraped and some of the other bits upholstered.
And nurse you seem quite knowledgable about BULL-DYKES ..you been hanging around the seedy clubs again hoping to score ?
images/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[Nursey]

yes-the seedy clubs are always the best bet when out trying to score some E! images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[pimpchichi]

and gay clubs are the best venues for Nursey's scantily clad slutty-dance... when she claims the mantle of #1 disco diva, and continues her selfless mission to bewitch and entertain the clubbing elite in her home city.....

i say gay clubs because there is less chance of her inciting a massive psychotic episode.. where hundreds of heterosexual men endure a dangerous flood of testosterone.. from which a mass drunken display of butch breast-beating ensues.. creating an atmosphere of competitiveness with a barely constrained undercurrent of lust fuelled violence...

of course there is always a chance that her oestrogen appeal will tempt a number of gays back into the arms of heterosexuality... but they will soon return to the muscular arms of man-love, when they realise that most women are the bitchy pack-hunting shrews that they despise, and Nursey is one of a kind...

there is no danger of me getting hit on by the residents of the pink parade.. i go there on the condition that Nursey makes it clear to the predators that i am hers... although that doesn't stop them flirting with me, and telling me how sexy i am, while lamenting my refusal to cross the line.. but y'know.. i find it pretty flattering, and as long as they know a line is drawn i'm perfectly comfortable in that den of 'unnatural' fornication ....

[kitana]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fucking Busy Pimp:
and Nursey is one of a kind...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

awww, how sweet images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Cheezedawg]

I thought this thread was about David Gates and the band. Boy was I disappointed. Oh well. I'll just turn it into one of those threads.

Baby Ima want you,
Baby ima need you,
You're the only one I care enough to hurt about,
Maybe Ima crazy,
But I just can't live without,
You're loving and affection,
Giving me direction,
Like a guiding light to help me through my darkest hour,
Lately Ima prayin,
That you'll always be a stayin,
Beside me.

[Nicodemus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
Strange...i put a link to Unlimited Time's pm...and along comes Bland Ambition and Kitana to protest and make up excuses as to why they are or aren't such experts on the matter...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Excuses? Hell no! I'm just trying to drum up a little business for my photography gig. Err, sorry about the namedropping there, but I must admit I am a bit desparate for work right now, what with the recession and all. And you wouldn't beleive the boost in clients I've had since then! Your mom must get around even more than I had originally suspected. images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif Thanks!