Sobriety!!

[Nauseous]

You can only scrape a bowl so many times.

One Bud Light, no matter how fast it's consumed, will not get you drunk.

Holding your breath only works temporarily.

Smoking other people's cigarette butts out of the ashtray is humiliating.

Herbal sleeping pills taken in high doses work in a pinch, but that's only if you can remember where you put the damn things.

Clorox, here I come!!! images/smiles/icon_redface.gif

[Stranger]

Alcohol Warnings

Dunno if this'll work here or not....
http://www.madblast.com/oska/humor_warnings.swf

If not, try the link (http://www.madblast.com/oska/humor_warnings.swf)
images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Lomotil]

If all other options have been exhausted, try inhaling the 'keyboard duster' canned air products... it does great things to the way your voice sounds*, and fuuuuucks you up real nice.

*(Think, exact opposite of 'helium voice'... you'll sound like a knee-grow)

[pimpchichi]

*frank bruno laugh*

[PinkorBrown69]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Lomotil:
'keyboard duster' canned air products... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


You really like that stuff don't ya Lomo? You've said about it before, if I remember rightly.

[pimpchichi]

http://website.lineone.net/~mitchy2k/dusty.jpg
hehehe

[Lomotil]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pimp~fucha-Tookee:
http://website.lineone.net/~mitchy2k/dusty.jpg
hehehe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif Tetrafluoroethane OwNz JoO! images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Lomotil]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PinkorBrown69:
You really like that stuff don't ya Lomo? You've said about it before, if I remember rightly.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Affirmative.

Say, the pic in your profile:
http://www.zyworld.com/xxxxx4/SPOOKYClimb_2.jpg

...is that from the Soulfly album cover?

[PinkorBrown69]

Nope! That's a picture of me standing atop Hook Point on Frazer Island! images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Stranger]

If you eat a tin of Nutmeg it'll give you a stone too. (apparently)

Any aerosole should do the trick too. The junkies, down the road from an appartment I lived in once, were getting off on hairspray. But a word of caution- one of em died from trying it with flyspray. They also recommended shooting up Vegemite. 5min of bliss and 2hrs of stomach cramps, but you can buy a jar of it for $2.

And if all else fails I'm sure you could find some glue or thinners lying round somewhere.

Meanwhile, I'm off for a cone. I'll have one for you while I'm there.
Ahhh shucks, you seem like you need it, I'll have 2 for ya. images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Nauseous]

Bleach burns like hell. images/smiles/icon_eek.gif

Keyboard cleaner, eh? I might give it a go at work tomorrow.

Third day of sobriety... images/smiles/icon_mad.gif

27 more days and I'll be able to pass a piss test for the first time in 8 years. Yee-fuckin'ha! images/smiles/icon_sad.gif

[Nicodemus]

Damn, all this talk about inhaling controlled substances is bringing back flashes of those propaganda-esque educational films they used to make us watch in the school auditorium. I would have never heard of "huffing" if the Board of Education hadn't brought it to my attention.

[Nauseous]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Ignorantly posted by Nauseous:

27 more days and I'll be able to pass a piss test for the first time in 8 years. Yee-fuckin'ha! images/smiles/icon_sad.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm such a fucking liar. images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif images/smiles/icon_cool.gif

[Nicodemus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nauseous:
Third day of sobriety... images/smiles/icon_mad.gif

27 more days and I'll be able to pass a piss test for the first time in 8 years. Yee-fuckin'ha!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why don't you just accept the inevitable and embrace your substance abuse? Buy some pee-tea at your local herb store if you need to pass a piss test. Why torture yourself with sobriety?

[Lomotil]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nicodemus:
Damn, all this talk about inhaling controlled substances is bringing back flashes of those propaganda-esque educational films they used to make us watch in the school auditorium. I would have never heard of "huffing" if the Board of Education hadn't brought it to my attention.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I just bought the 1936 film, "Reefer Madness" on DVD... images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

From the back of the box: "One harmless toke turns average teenagers into psycho killers and brazen hussies!"

Now, I'm not exactly clear on what a 'brazen hussy' is, but I can vouch for the 'psycho killer' bit. One time, I was stoned and I found a mosquito on my arm... after about ten minutes, I finally killed it... I'm a true psycho. images/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[Nursey]

http://www.larner.freeserve.co.uk/rmlink.gif (http://www.sumeria.net/politics/shadv3.html)

[pimpchichi]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Lomotil:
Now, I'm not exactly clear on what a 'brazen hussy' is<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nursey is a brazen hussy.. that is a good thing... (for me anyway)