phatboy
08-19-2008, 09:00 AM
Ok guys and girls, we all know what this is about. Have you ever willingly hung out/hooked up with someone that you had no attraction to, for the sake of a friend hooking up? I have a couple of them, but I will just lead with one......
Back in the days after high school, and before I was old enough to get into clubs we would 'cruise'. A buddy of mine had a pretty decent Camaro RS with T-tops, some subs, the whole 90s thing. So one night it was getting kind of late and the pickings were getting pretty slim. We have a 5th of Jim in the backseat and had been mixing for pretty much the whole night when we decided to cut one more 'loop' before calling it a night. So we are sitting at this red light when a burgundy 89 buick century looking car pulls up beside us. We both glanced over to see who was in it and noticed two girls, one blond (fake) and one girl with brownish hair. They smiled when we looked over at them so my buddy said something to the affect of 'hey you want to stop at the DQ and talk?' They said sure and we proceeded to the DQ. So we are talking to them, the brownish haired girl is a little chubby and short (5'2" or so) the blond is taller but not 'fit' and kind of pretty. We learn that the blondes parents are out of town (thats why they are out so late) and that we are welcome to come back to her house if we'd like to. So we say 'sure' and follow them back to the southside of town.
On the ride my friend proceeds to tell me that he 'calls' the blonde. Ok. Whatever. So we are sitting there talking in the living room, the chubby girl on my hip. It's getting late, and I have to work in the morning. Well the girls go 'powder their noses' and my friend says, 'hey can you get her out of the room?' So I say, "yea, I'll try"
When they get back I lean over to the chubby girl and say, 'hey you want to go some where a little more private?' So she drags me back to her friends room and my buddy shoots me the 'thumbs up' as we leave the room. I have never felt more like a 'salt lick' in my whole life. So we are back there for a couple of hours, doing you know, 'stuff', and like most men, when I am done, its nappy time. Well the last thing I wanted was Ricky Lake here laying on me all night, so I say, "hey its really late, and I have to work in the morning, I'm going to get Gary and take off" and she says 'ok will I see you' and I say 'sure we will be out tonight' So Im stumbling half dressed through the house, I get into the living room, and they are still in there. I'm like 'dude its retarded late and I got to be at work at 8' so he throws me the keys and says 'I'll be out there in a minute'.
So I go out and get in the car, kick the seat back and get some shut eye. All of a sudden I hear some tapping on the glass. I kinda half open one eye and see Ms. Buttersworth standing outside, luckily the windows were tinted dark enough she couldnt tell that I was peeking at her. I pretended to be asleep hoping that she would get cold and go back inside. After a couple of minutes, and her checking to see if both doors were locked she went back in.
Finally at about 7 he comes out of the house, laughing. Im kinda pissed because I have had no sleep, and I have to be at work in an hour. He gets in the car and I say, 'whats so funny?'
He said, "that'll teach her" and Im like, "what are you talking about?"
He tells me that he had blue balls like a mofo from all the making and out and stuff, but she would 'come off it' so he told he had to use the bathroom and 'did number 3' while he was in there. I told him, "dude you are f'd up" and he said, 'no, the fact that I sprayed it everywhere is F'd up' I started laughing and said 'what???' he said, "I shot it on the towels, the shower curtain, the toothbrush holder...."
I was crying I laughed so hard.
So now you know where 'doing number 3' came from.....
Back in the days after high school, and before I was old enough to get into clubs we would 'cruise'. A buddy of mine had a pretty decent Camaro RS with T-tops, some subs, the whole 90s thing. So one night it was getting kind of late and the pickings were getting pretty slim. We have a 5th of Jim in the backseat and had been mixing for pretty much the whole night when we decided to cut one more 'loop' before calling it a night. So we are sitting at this red light when a burgundy 89 buick century looking car pulls up beside us. We both glanced over to see who was in it and noticed two girls, one blond (fake) and one girl with brownish hair. They smiled when we looked over at them so my buddy said something to the affect of 'hey you want to stop at the DQ and talk?' They said sure and we proceeded to the DQ. So we are talking to them, the brownish haired girl is a little chubby and short (5'2" or so) the blond is taller but not 'fit' and kind of pretty. We learn that the blondes parents are out of town (thats why they are out so late) and that we are welcome to come back to her house if we'd like to. So we say 'sure' and follow them back to the southside of town.
On the ride my friend proceeds to tell me that he 'calls' the blonde. Ok. Whatever. So we are sitting there talking in the living room, the chubby girl on my hip. It's getting late, and I have to work in the morning. Well the girls go 'powder their noses' and my friend says, 'hey can you get her out of the room?' So I say, "yea, I'll try"
When they get back I lean over to the chubby girl and say, 'hey you want to go some where a little more private?' So she drags me back to her friends room and my buddy shoots me the 'thumbs up' as we leave the room. I have never felt more like a 'salt lick' in my whole life. So we are back there for a couple of hours, doing you know, 'stuff', and like most men, when I am done, its nappy time. Well the last thing I wanted was Ricky Lake here laying on me all night, so I say, "hey its really late, and I have to work in the morning, I'm going to get Gary and take off" and she says 'ok will I see you' and I say 'sure we will be out tonight' So Im stumbling half dressed through the house, I get into the living room, and they are still in there. I'm like 'dude its retarded late and I got to be at work at 8' so he throws me the keys and says 'I'll be out there in a minute'.
So I go out and get in the car, kick the seat back and get some shut eye. All of a sudden I hear some tapping on the glass. I kinda half open one eye and see Ms. Buttersworth standing outside, luckily the windows were tinted dark enough she couldnt tell that I was peeking at her. I pretended to be asleep hoping that she would get cold and go back inside. After a couple of minutes, and her checking to see if both doors were locked she went back in.
Finally at about 7 he comes out of the house, laughing. Im kinda pissed because I have had no sleep, and I have to be at work in an hour. He gets in the car and I say, 'whats so funny?'
He said, "that'll teach her" and Im like, "what are you talking about?"
He tells me that he had blue balls like a mofo from all the making and out and stuff, but she would 'come off it' so he told he had to use the bathroom and 'did number 3' while he was in there. I told him, "dude you are f'd up" and he said, 'no, the fact that I sprayed it everywhere is F'd up' I started laughing and said 'what???' he said, "I shot it on the towels, the shower curtain, the toothbrush holder...."
I was crying I laughed so hard.
So now you know where 'doing number 3' came from.....